Adulty Funtimes … in Python!

Here’s another humorous post (imported from Substack) that’s written in code – this time, Python. If you can’t read Python code, don’t worry because there’s an English interpretation below. Enjoy!
~FloxMonster™, July 18, 2026

How the Real Nerds Date 😛

Look, ma! I’ve been teaching myself Python!

Adult Funtimes Translated to Code.

def adulty_times(partner):

    try:

        print(f”{partner}, baby, you look so hot tonight!”)

        import sexy_lines.json

        arousal+=5

    except ImportError:

        print(”Do you come here often?”)

    except NameError:

        print(”I swear this has never happened before...”)

    else:

        print(f”My hard drive is ready for you, {partner}!”)

    finally:

        print(f”That was great, {partner}. Zzzz....”)

Rough translation to English:

(First, you load the definition with a name, for example, “Jill.”)

First try saying, “Jill, baby, you look so hot tonight!”)
Then pull up a file of sexy lines to say.
Then get more aroused.

If you can’t find the lines, fall back on a horrible one: “Do you come here often?”

If the arousal isn’t found, give a lame excuse: “I swear this has never happened before…”

But if all goes well, say: “My hard drive is ready for you, Jill!”

When you’re done, say: “That was great, Jill. Zzz….” (Fall asleep.)

This post was 100% human written. And 100% nerd-approved. Enjoy! <3

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