Compost Your Grief To Fresh Soil. 😢➡️🌿😊

This is a serious article about how to use your grief and “compost” it into material on which you can build new experiences. It is something of a self-help kind of article. I hope it helps you. I posted it on Substack in early 2026.
~FloxMonster™, July 25, 2026

Reprocess the sadness, rebuild on the new.

First, the Disclaimer

I am not a medical doctor. I am not a licensed therapist. I am not a certified anything; in fact, I may be certifiable. Please consult a real health professional before changing anything related to your wellness. Thank you.

Grief is Deeply Human.

What happens when someone we love leaves our lives? I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately: the entire experience of what happens inside and around us, on complex emotional and mental levels. Grief is a persistent thing, rooted in the deepest part of what it means to be human.

Grief comes close to obsession at times, this weird and demanding reminder of the person you lost. It can be a broken alarm-clock with alerts about the person’s face, favorite things, shared places, and sayings. Slowly these unwanted reminders may fade, then pop up years later with the whisper of familiar tunes, or the whiff of old perfume. The human brain is fascinating. And truly maddening, sometimes.

Nobody Can Just “Deal With It.”

When my brother passed away about nine years ago, I was not in a good place to “deal with it.” That’s what people say, in Western culture: you “deal with it.” You come to terms with the loss, you “work through it.” As if you somehow you can follow all the recommended steps, finish the task, and set it all aside. Right, done! What’s next?

Has that ever really worked for anyone?

As we all know, grief does linger. The memories and feelings about a loved one stay with you, whether you “work through them” all or not. Grief is part of the human experience, and to shunt these feelings aside is, to me, to deeply disrespect that person’s life. More importantly, it disrespects the part of you that carries them forward.

There is a better way to approach grief, I think. Give me a moment to speak about gardening and Earth-oriented things. I’ll show you what I mean.

Composting 101 🌿

To compost something is not simply to set your trash aside and let it rot. No, it is far more elegant and constructive! There is a time-honored technique for composting your organic (read: carbon-based) waste.

1. First, you ADD and MIX.

• Take green items – recently perished (e.g. lettuce-leaves, eggshells)

• Add brown items – long-ago perished (e.g., dried sticks, crinkly leaves)

• Mix together thoroughly, so they can interact.

2. Second, you call on BACKUP.

   The Earth steps in at this point, using helpful microorganisms1 to break down hard edges and process them into soft, useful soil. Bacteria, fungi, protozoa, even earthworms help you out, here.

3. Third, you keep STIRRING the pile.

   Over time, you use a pitchfork or shovel to mix the stuff up. This lets fresh oxygen in and methane pockets out. You don’t want that bad gas in there. It also lets the helpful microorganisms mix and do their job.

4. USE the result!

   The process is slow (6-12 months), but when finished, what you get is not an “ending” at all. You get a rich, fertile basis for new life: compost soil. It’s dark, it’s thick and soft in your hands. It smells fresh and earthy, not like trash at all.

   And it will support any possible plant you can imagine. Start new life with it!

Compost Your Grief

So you might be thinking, Thanks for the gardening advice, but what does this have to do with grief??

I’m getting there.

When we grieve, we must avoid “working through it” then setting the experience aside like used-up trash. In my view, we should compost the grief instead. Let’s recycle, reuse, and renew it!

Here are my thoughts.

1. First, you ADD and MIX.

• Take green items – recently perished (your loved one, alas)

• Add brown items – long-ago perished (your past loss, grief, disappointments, and most of all – the existing memories of how you survived all of those)

• Mix together thoroughly, so they can interact.

  Let your new grief rest gently on the foundation of your life experience. You have been here before. Maybe not something as big as this grief. But you have survived sorrow and loss before. And you will survive this one too. Let the memories of your life, and the memories of your loved one, slowly mingle with the strength and experience you already have waiting inside.

2. Second, you call on BACKUP.

   We are composting here. The Earth uses microbes to break down the hard edges of its raw material. But you can use whatever tools you have:

• Drawing, Writing, Poetry, Music

• Reading books (entertainment or self-help)

• Chatting with friends about the situation

• Talking with professionals

• Seeking medical help (maybe even temporary meds to get you back on your feet)

  All of these tools can help you process what’s inside you. Please use your own! This is all about you.

  I also want to say, seeking out help from others means strength and self-awareness. It shows you understand how big grief can be. Just do it. Don’t second-guess it.

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  (This is a Public Service Announcement – Emotional Backup is Here for you. Please dial 988 in US or 116 123 in UK. No crisis required; just call to talk.)

  

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  3. STIR the pile.

  You’ve still got this stuff sitting inside you, right? The green (freshly perished) and the brown (old experiences) should blend together. Think about them, let them develop.

  Let them transform into new beginnings.

4. USE the result.

   I know, easier said than done, right? I’m still working on this one, myself. But I can feel it starting to happen. I’ve written some poems inspired by my brother.

   The idea is to build upon the foundation that’s formed by the transformed experience. To start fresh. To plant new seeds, and blossom freely.

   …Yeah, I’m working on it. 🙂

I will revisit this idea in the future. But I wanted to lay it out here, in the hope it might inspire someone else.

There is more coming beneath the surface.

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