Tag: Humor

  • How to Make People Take Covid Seriously

    People don’t take Covid seriously anymore. We’re in the midst of a pretty vicious Covid outbreak right now; people are walking all around, lalalala, no masks, all coughing, sneezing, breathing all over each other. Nobody cares.

    Okay, this entry isn’t about my personal views on how selfish that is, nor about how my own health situation tends to hover between “delicate” and “wtf.” Instead, I want to talk about how it is possible to make folks take Covid–and other infectious diseases–more seriously.

    Health Officials of the World, I am now talking to you. First, props and respect; you have a super-stressful, very difficult, and usually thankless job. That said, let’s talk about naming things. Please think for a moment about your nearest amusement park, and the rides inside. They all have fantastic, exciting names like “The Thunder Rusher” and “Costly Lawsuit Pending!” Do you think, perhaps, if they named a ride “R2D2 3.14159,” that anyone would ride it?

    NO. NO ONE WOULD EVEN GLANCE AT THAT RIDE.

    Imagine a little girl: “Oh mommy I want to get on R2D2 3 point.. whatever…?”

    NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

    Yes, you see? Well, that is the current problem with Covid. What the hell is “XBB 1.5?” It sounds like a radio station. No one is going to take that seriously.

    Now, let’s take a step back… and apply what we learned to diseases.

    Imagine a man calling into work: “Sorry I can’t come in, man. I’ve got the MommyVomit 3000!”

    The boss reacts in horror! “Oh god, NO–Don’t Come In! Wash Your Hands! Wear a MASK! …We’re already in trouble, here. Ramon has the Six-Weeks MonsterCough.”

    “Oh NO! That poor bastard. He shouldn’t’ve gone to that game. It was a real spreader event.”

    Do you see my point, here?

    It extends to social disease as well: “Sorry, Linda, but I must wear a condom. Last week I contracted the BallShriveling Magenta variant!”

    Yes? So give it a try!

    I guarantee people will take diseases more seriously.

    Cheers! 😀


    FloxMonster™ ©2022 A.M.Coy - All Rights Reserved. You may not use this image.
    FloxMonster™ ©2022 A.M.Coy – All Rights Reserved. You may not use this image.
  • Weird, Fun Christmas Gifts – How Merry Are You REALLY?

    Weird, Fun Christmas Gifts – How Merry Are You REALLY?

    Category_Theme_Ho_Fking_Ho ©2022 A.M. Coy, All Rights Reserved. Unique gifts at great prices! Weird gifts.
    Category_Theme_Ho_Fking_Ho ©2022 A.M. Coy, All Rights Reserved.

    Weird and fun Christmas gifts even your grouchy Grampa can enjoy! Here at FloxMonster™ we try to provide humor even about topics that some people find depressing. Like the Holidays… some people love them, others dread them. So here’s our take on Christmas, in the first of our FloxMonster™ Rotten Holidays line: “Ho F*¢king Ho!”

    Weird Christmas Gifts… Fun Yes, And Kinda Off-Color

    We acknowledge, not everyone loves the Holidays. Let’s be honest: plenty of folks hate them. So for all you Grumpy Gusses out there, we offer an only-slightly-censored “HO F*¢KING HO!” (You know what the * and ¢ stand for; we’re all adults here!) Furthermore, we are going to offer plenty of other designs in our “FloxMonster™ Rotten Holidays” series, so keep your eyes here on Flox.monster!

    Category-Theme-Rotten Holidays, ©2022 A.M. Coy - All Rights Reserved
    Category-Theme-Rotten Holidays, ©2022 A.M. Coy – All Rights Reserved

    Here are some things we’d like you to know about FloxMonster™ creations.

    All Unique and Beautiful FloxMonster™ Art

    First, all the art on FloxMonster™ products is unique; you won’t find it anywhere else. Instead, with ours you can appreciate the result of keen craftsmanship focused through many hours’ work, and a polished creative process. To be specific, we create and compose our art not just using traditional methods, but by honing it with software like Filter Forge, Photoshop, and Blender. Occasionally, we also incorporate components of public-domain or licensed art. When finished, we combine all this work into unique, humorous creations we hope you will enjoy.

    Custom Printed Christmas Gifts

    Second, all the products on this website are printed when you order them. Therefore, we do not keep them in stock; they are made-to-order. This is good for the environment, because it keeps waste out of landfills and reduces electricity-use, because there’s no need to heat or cool extra stock.

    Specifically, we contract our printed items through Printify.com, who sends them to printing companies, who then drop-ship them anywhere in the world. Once you complete your purchase here, our website sends your order immediately to Printify for completion.

    Offensive But Funny

    Third, we are fully aware that the “Ho F*¢king Ho!” line is going to offend some people. We strongly recommend that you wear or use the items somewhere private, or around friends who you know will laugh about them… because that is the entire point of why we made them. The art is meant to be funny. We call it:

    “Dark Humor for the Dark Times of the Year.”

    In conclusion, we remind you that some people really do want to flip off Christmas. And why not? There’s the gross over-commercialization, the false cheeriness, putting up the lights, the kids demanding presents, the visiting relatives, the traffic… oh yeah! Well, this one’s for all of you.

    Ho Fucking Ho! Merry Fucking Christmas! You bet!

    That said… let’s get to the gifts. 🙂

    Weird, Fun Christmas Gifts: “Ho F*¢king Ho!”

    FloxMonster™ offers custom-printed mugs, aluminum ornaments, unisex hooded sweatshirts (a.k.a. hoodies), unisex t-shirts, velveteen blankets, and more. Don’t see what you want? Contact us to request it!

    View the Entire “Ho F*¢king Ho!” Line Here


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