FloxMonster™ is having a sale on holiday greeting cards, now through December 5, 2022! You have to grab these great deals before they expire. Save on our fantastic art designs, available on custom-printed cards in packs of 8, 16 and 24. Furthermore, the packs include matching envelopes!
FloxMonster™ is offering a discount on all our great cards, just in time for the holidays. They include all of the Rotten Holidays line as well as our popular LGBT+ friendly series! We’re even discounting the very rude and funny “Ho F*¢king Ho!” holiday cards, in case there’s some relatives you really want to piss off. 🙂 Have fun with it!
“Merry WHATEVER.” It sounds like something a churlish teenager might say. But face it–our holidays are complicated, these days. What do you say to someone you don’t know, this winter? What if they’re not in the holiday spirit? What if they’re Muslim, or Jewish… or Wiccan? Well, screw it–just say “Merry WHATEVER.” LOL. That will include everyone!
FloxMonster’s™ new line of “Merry WHATEVER.” gifts highlight this humorous, all-inclusive spirit. We have many products depicting this humorous take on Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Yule, Solstice, Boxing Day, St. Lucia Day, Krampusnacht, Bodhi Day, Diwali, Three King’s Day, Festus, or just . . . what-have-you!
Custom-Printed Quality
Just a quick reminder: all our “Merry WHATEVER.” items are custom-printed, right when you order. We fulfill all orders through Printify. Therefore, your gifts are made just for you! Furthermore, there’s good news: our orders are being filled quite quickly, so everything arrives fast!
Weird and fun Christmas gifts even your grouchy Grampa can enjoy! Here at FloxMonster™ we try to provide humor even about topics that some people find depressing. Like the Holidays… some people love them, others dread them. So here’s our take on Christmas, in the first of our FloxMonster™ Rotten Holidays line: “Ho F*¢king Ho!”
Weird Christmas Gifts… Fun Yes, And Kinda Off-Color
We acknowledge, not everyone loves the Holidays. Let’s be honest: plenty of folks hate them. So for all you Grumpy Gusses out there, we offer an only-slightly-censored “HO F*¢KING HO!” (You know what the * and ¢ stand for; we’re all adults here!) Furthermore, we are going to offer plenty of other designs in our “FloxMonster™ Rotten Holidays” series, so keep your eyes here on Flox.monster!
Here are some things we’d like you to know about FloxMonster™ creations.
All Unique and Beautiful FloxMonster™ Art
First, all the art on FloxMonster™ products is unique; you won’t find it anywhere else. Instead, with ours you can appreciate the result of keen craftsmanship focused through many hours’ work, and a polished creative process. To be specific, we create and compose our art not just using traditional methods, but by honing it with software like Filter Forge, Photoshop, and Blender. Occasionally, we also incorporate components of public-domain or licensed art. When finished, we combine all this work into unique, humorous creations we hope you will enjoy.
Custom Printed Christmas Gifts
Second, all the products on this website are printed when you order them. Therefore, we do not keep them in stock; they are made-to-order. This is good for the environment, because it keeps waste out of landfills and reduces electricity-use, because there’s no need to heat or cool extra stock.
Specifically, we contract our printed items through Printify.com, who sends them to printing companies, who then drop-ship them anywhere in the world. Once you complete your purchase here, our website sends your order immediately to Printify for completion.
Offensive But Funny
Third, we are fully aware that the “Ho F*¢king Ho!” line is going to offend some people. We strongly recommend that you wear or use the items somewhere private, or around friends who you know will laugh about them… because that is the entire point of why we made them. The art is meant to be funny. We call it:
“Dark Humor for the Dark Times of the Year.”
In conclusion, we remind you that some people really do want to flip off Christmas. And why not? There’s the gross over-commercialization, the false cheeriness, putting up the lights, the kids demanding presents, the visiting relatives, the traffic… oh yeah! Well, this one’s for all of you.
Ho Fucking Ho! Merry Fucking Christmas! You bet!
That said… let’s get to the gifts. 🙂
Weird, Fun Christmas Gifts: “Ho F*¢king Ho!”
FloxMonster™ offers custom-printed mugs, aluminum ornaments, unisex hooded sweatshirts (a.k.a. hoodies), unisex t-shirts, velveteen blankets, and more. Don’t see what you want? Contact us to request it!
Great news–FloxMonster™ now offers fantastic, custom gifts at our FloxMonster™ Shop!
Overview
We debated doing this for some time, but there’s a virtual art project for which we are trying to raise money (not to mention real-life bills). So we now offer many items such as shirts, hoodies, blankets, etc. printed with our art. Each is created when you order, but it’s cool–there’s only a short wait to receive your goods. 🙂
Who Is Printing What?
To handle our print orders and shipping, we have selected a company called Printify. Through them, we have carefully selected vendors who are all based in America and who emphasize quality as well as environmental safety. That means they are not the absolute, rock-bottom cheapest, but we would rather find a comfortable balance between good quality, important values, and a fair price. We think the resulting products will please everyone.
Special Requests & Custom Gifts
If you would like to see some of our art on an item not currently offered, or some kind of custom gift, just let us know on the contact page! We will do our best to sniff it out and make that happen. 🙂 Printify has numerous vendors, and different ones offer different products. (For example, we found a bento box you could custom-print, the other day. That’s like a Japanese lunch box.) So just ask! 🙂
Gifts For Christmas?
Oh, you better believe we’ll be offering Christmas gifts! We plan to release a whole series of Un-Happy Holidays cards, shirts, and more with silly and sour slogans. So you can look for that coming soon! 😀
FloxMonster™ Sees You! 😛
Our first round of products follows a theme close to FloxMonster™’s heart! It’s our early logo and humorous slogan: “FloxMonster™ Sees You! :-P” Currently available on blankets, shirts, and hoodies in multiple colors. Enjoy!
We look forward to offering a great selection of products everyone can enjoy. Therefore, if there’s anything we can do differently, please let us know!
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