“Merry WHATEVER.” It sounds like something a churlish teenager might say. But face it–our holidays are complicated, these days. What do you say to someone you don’t know, this winter? What if they’re not in the holiday spirit? What if they’re Muslim, or Jewish… or Wiccan? Well, screw it–just say “Merry WHATEVER.” LOL. That will include everyone!
FloxMonster’s™ new line of “Merry WHATEVER.” gifts highlight this humorous, all-inclusive spirit. We have many products depicting this humorous take on Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Yule, Solstice, Boxing Day, St. Lucia Day, Krampusnacht, Bodhi Day, Diwali, Three King’s Day, Festus, or just . . . what-have-you!
Custom-Printed Quality
Just a quick reminder: all our “Merry WHATEVER.” items are custom-printed, right when you order. We fulfill all orders through Printify. Therefore, your gifts are made just for you! Furthermore, there’s good news: our orders are being filled quite quickly, so everything arrives fast!
Note: July 13, 2026 – The information below is outdated. All “Rotten Holidays” items have moved to FloxMonster.com. They are being “rebooted’ and updated as we speak. 🙂
Talk about awesome stuff! “Grunge Snowflake” is FloxMonster’s™ next release in the “Rotten Holidays” line. This art piece depicts a lovely, blue-crystalline snowflake which has become smudged and grunged with dirt. Fantastic! Herein is the perfect depiction of our peaceful holiday season, besmirched by misery and greed.
Speaking of greed, you can now get our Grunge Snowflake on a wide range of great, custom items! Remember, we contract all our products through Printify, so everything is made-to-order. That means less waste and a better, smaller impact on the environment.
In addition, your purchase is always well-placed, here at FloxMonster™. 10% of profits always go toward environmental causes, both on a local level (close to Williamsburg, Virginia) and an international one. Furthermore, during this holiday season, we are contributing a portion toward Wyvern Dryke’s “Haunted Nawlins” virtual art project.
Weird and fun Christmas gifts even your grouchy Grampa can enjoy! Here at FloxMonster™ we try to provide humor even about topics that some people find depressing. Like the Holidays… some people love them, others dread them. So here’s our take on Christmas, in the first of our FloxMonster™ Rotten Holidays line: “Ho F*¢king Ho!”
Weird Christmas Gifts… Fun Yes, And Kinda Off-Color
We acknowledge, not everyone loves the Holidays. Let’s be honest: plenty of folks hate them. So for all you Grumpy Gusses out there, we offer an only-slightly-censored “HO F*¢KING HO!” (You know what the * and ¢ stand for; we’re all adults here!) Furthermore, we are going to offer plenty of other designs in our “FloxMonster™ Rotten Holidays” series, so keep your eyes here on Flox.monster!
Here are some things we’d like you to know about FloxMonster™ creations.
All Unique and Beautiful FloxMonster™ Art
First, all the art on FloxMonster™ products is unique; you won’t find it anywhere else. Instead, with ours you can appreciate the result of keen craftsmanship focused through many hours’ work, and a polished creative process. To be specific, we create and compose our art not just using traditional methods, but by honing it with software like Filter Forge, Photoshop, and Blender. Occasionally, we also incorporate components of public-domain or licensed art. When finished, we combine all this work into unique, humorous creations we hope you will enjoy.
Custom Printed Christmas Gifts
Second, all the products on this website are printed when you order them. Therefore, we do not keep them in stock; they are made-to-order. This is good for the environment, because it keeps waste out of landfills and reduces electricity-use, because there’s no need to heat or cool extra stock.
Specifically, we contract our printed items through Printify.com, who sends them to printing companies, who then drop-ship them anywhere in the world. Once you complete your purchase here, our website sends your order immediately to Printify for completion.
Offensive But Funny
Third, we are fully aware that the “Ho F*¢king Ho!” line is going to offend some people. We strongly recommend that you wear or use the items somewhere private, or around friends who you know will laugh about them… because that is the entire point of why we made them. The art is meant to be funny. We call it:
“Dark Humor for the Dark Times of the Year.”
In conclusion, we remind you that some people really do want to flip off Christmas. And why not? There’s the gross over-commercialization, the false cheeriness, putting up the lights, the kids demanding presents, the visiting relatives, the traffic… oh yeah! Well, this one’s for all of you.
Ho Fucking Ho! Merry Fucking Christmas! You bet!
That said… let’s get to the gifts. 🙂
Weird, Fun Christmas Gifts: “Ho F*¢king Ho!”
FloxMonster™ offers custom-printed mugs, aluminum ornaments, unisex hooded sweatshirts (a.k.a. hoodies), unisex t-shirts, velveteen blankets, and more. Don’t see what you want? Contact us to request it!
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